Response from Pitch…

Here is the video of our pitch…

Emelia and I tried to keep our pitch as close to the 30-60second time period as we could; however, we found it difficult to fit in the specific details in this time period and so over ran. We are happy with how our pitch went in that the audience could picture our opening clearly in their heads and understood what we were trying to put across; this was clear to us as there were no questions at the end. Also, we were happy with the flow as we had practised a couple of times before and so knew when we had to come in to speak. On the other hand, if Emelia and I were to perform our pitch again we would try doing it without the cue cards and by doing so would be more inclined to look up and make eye contact with the audience; this would help with our nerves.

Although Emelia and I had no questions or points of criticism raised after our pitch, when beginning our intricate planning we had a discussion with our teacher and have altered our storyline slightly….

Rather than beginning with a shot of a young girl in her bedroom, Emelia and I have decided to begin with an establishing shot of the icy, isolated field. We have decided to do this as we belief it creates the mysterious tone that we are aiming for and we have also noticed that in various other thriller films they begin with an isolated shot in order to display that the characters are alone. We also believe that it will add aesthetic to our opening. From here, we shall then cut to a shot showing a girl (around the age of 5)  in her bedroom. We shall still then show her looking out of her bedroom window into the icy field. Once again, we shall keep the next shot the same as we show the young girl playing with her toys. However, instead of the young girl calling for her mum, we have decided to have the phone ring and for the young girl to notice her mothers absence through the phone call. She shall call for her mum when the person on the phone asks to speak to her and the from here we shall show her looking round the house calling for her mum. After this, we shall show the young girl pulling on her wellington boots and opening the backdoor. She shall then begin to walk/skip towards the field. We shall then cut to the same dolly shot in order to reveal the dead and icy foot of her mother. From here, we shall show the motionless body of the mother and tilt up to show the young girl looking down on her mother with a shocked, confused and upset expression on her face. We have decided to stick with the tilt and to tilt further upwards to show a mysterious man towering over the young girl. To finish off our opening sequence, we shall tilt further upwards to show the title in the sky.

We have altered our storyline slightly as we believe that this improved version shall flow better and will help our film to create a mysterious tone. We also believe that our new storyline allows our opening to fit within the thriller genre better as it features more aspects that we have seen in thriller films watched such as Dead Silence.

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